Hello everyone, I have not posted in quite a while, but I just want to offer some encouragement to those working through issues. In July, it will be 2 years since the accident that almost ended my riding. It has been a long road, but I have not been on it alone. I have a great instructor, husband and best friend that have pushed, hugged, cheered and been shoulders to cry on. I am finally loping in the arena and have ventured out on the trail with friends. I still have some fear issues, but the nausea does not occur like it used to! This web site was a great help to first getting on the road to recovery. This journey has been very enlightening to me. Believe in and be thanksful for all the gifts for which you have been blessed. Be patient and self forgiving. One step out of your comfort zone can feel like a milestone! Hang in there everyone!
Hi Jannieb It's great to hear such a positive and encouraging post. Well Done - you should be very proud of yourself! Wouldn't it be wonderful if, in a year or two, all of us regulars on here are posting similar messages. Bye for now Megan
Thanks for your encouragement. I find it noteworthy that you mentions still having some fear issues. I think that is an important point, as I have come to realize that riding can still be enjoyable even in the presence of fear. I think after bad injuries, fear becomes a part of our psyche from that point on. Initially, it is paralyzing and some people will give up riding completely. Eventually, with training and time, the fear becomes smaller and smaller as we gain confidence. But it is probably unrealistic to think it will go away completely. We just have too much self preservation instinct for that. For me, I had to come to the point where I could ackowledge the fear, but still have a good ride, knowing that I had tools to use to keep us safe 99% of the time. So now I go out trying to have the attitude of "Hey, Fear, I see you are here today. How are you doing? Coming with us on a ride? That's OK. You can come along, but just know that we are having a good ride anyway. Fear, you can ride behind if you want, but you're not getting in the front seat. If you try, I know how to put you back where you belong, so come along if you like, but we're having a good ride today."
Dixie Mom
"The art of riding: Keeping a horse between you and the ground!"
That's the question of the ages, isn't it? There are times I am riding and I suddenly get scared for no reason. I try to look at the situation and tell myself, "Right now everything is fine. This moment is fine. Dixie is fine, so let's keep going." It's a matter of focussing on the "right now" and not on what may happen in the future. Or I may feel nervous before a ride. I just have to make myself say, "This is a great day and we are going to have a great ride. If something really IS wrong, I can always turn around and come back, but for now, we are going to start this ride."
Then there are monster fears. That's when the "tools" come out of the box. I can focus then on riding/training her right past the monster, or keeping her facing the monster while we do exercises that get her attention back on me. The "tools" give me a lot of confidence, because we have practiced them so much that except for the occassional really, really, big monster, I know I can keep her attention and keep her feet moving in directions that I choose. Knowing this gives her the confidence she needs to be brave.
If I see a really, really, big monster coming up, I can get off and train from the ground. Then there times that big monsters pop up from no where - the ATV suddenly appears over the hill, or the pack llamas suddenly appear around the corner of a trail. There may not be time to dismount, and in these cases, the best course is to face-the-monster and assess what you can do at that point. But facing it can keep you in the saddle. If you can do that, you probably are not going to fall.
There comes a point (it really does!) that you know you have enough tools and training to handle most anything that can happen. You have practiced them and both of you know the cues. At that point, confidence really takes a boost. Yes, fear still likes to ride along, but I would say that the same tools you use with your horse are the same tools you use with your fear. There are times I have been suddenly afraid and I have actually stopped and just practiced a few tools - maybe some flextions, backing, moving the hips. I then feel much more in control and we go on with our ride. That puts fear back where it belongs. I also try to ride with intention, not just as a passenger. As we go down the road, I look at a spot and decide to ride around it, stop right over it, make a circle around it, whatever. All the time I am practicing leg cues, weight changes, hip cues, trying for lightness. That takes a lot of fear away, because when you are focused on a task, it's hard to also be focused on worry.
All that being said, please know that I am speaking purely from the school of hard knocks. I've had bad injuries that have totally shaken me. I wish someone could have taught me these lessons that I've learned the hard way. It probably took 2 years for me to start riding with any confidence at all, as until then I had no way of controlling spinning spooks, much less preventing them. I had no way of dealing with monsters except to fall off when Dixie spun around to run. As I've learned tools, techniques, and leadership, I have gained confidence and as a result Dixie is much mre confident. That means we are a lot safer.
Yup, fear is still a passenger, but I'm not ready to give up riding yet, so fear has to learn it's place - in the back seat. :) ----------
Dixie Mom
"The art of riding: Keeping a horse between you and the ground!"
I really like the way you put your thoughts into words!
Putting fear in the "saddle bags" and making it take backseat!
I was watching a special about a medival knights jousting show. I can't remember where it was though. The interviewer was asking about horse wrecks, injuries, and confidence issues. The guy who had come off horses, been stabbed accidently with the jousting poles etc. said fear was defeat, and you just cant let it defeat you. You have to be bigger than the fear.
I should print your comments and read it before riding!
I can not get out of the round pen still... and even then, I still find ways not to get on... I disgust myself sometime... you know, too hot, too windy etc...
OK, Kynagirl - here is your assignment. :) Walk your horse around the OUTSIDE of the round pen. Practice stopping and backing. Make a game out of it, like walk ten steps and back 3. Walk ten steps and back three. Do that all around the pen one time.
Then walk half way around the pen and turn around and walk the other way. Do that a few times.
Then walk ALL the way around the pen without stopping. Do all three patterns from both directions. (What you are doing is focusing on a task rather than fear. You are also desensitizing both of you to anything that may be "out there" to eat you.)
OK, Now the real thing. GET ON YOUR HORSE and do the same thing from the saddle! Both directions. Practice your breathing, relax your hands and seat. Let someone walk with you if you want, but then do it on your own. By the time you finsh all this, you should both be so bored with the outside of the round pen that you MAY just want to try venturing out a little farther next time. :)
You can do it!!!!!! If you get scared while riding, stop and back a few steps and then move ahead. If there are other things you can do (like vertical and lateral flexions or moving the hips) then you can do those, too.
The idea is to SET A PLAN, and as you concentrate on riding that plan you will be riding with intention. Your horse will pick up on that.
So report back this weekend, OK?????
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Dixie Mom
"The art of riding: Keeping a horse between you and the ground!"
