However, I guess I am really softer than I think. Because when I watch other people interact with my horse, he responds differently to them. Last year, as soon as the trainer sat down in the saddle, he started pinning his ears and swishing his tail. She said it was because he knew she wouldn't let him get away with stuff like I did! That was a real eye-opener - I had no idea I was "letting him get away with" anything. I realized just a few weeks ago that his lovely long-strided walk had substantially shortened to a dog walk. Why? Because I allowed it!!!! Without even realizing it, I was not expecting him to walk out in a nice even stride, and so he was no longer doing it. The second I touched him with my leg and asked him for a better walk, he produced it.

I am also realizing from some of the posts here (especially DixieMom) that I allow him into my space too much. Just last night leading him from the field, I realized he was literally breathing down my neck. When I stopped, his nose bumped into my head! I immediately turned around and glared at him and stomped my foot. He threw his head up and jumped back with a totally surprised look. I don't blame him for being surprised - I never demanded that he stay out of my space. However, I intend to do more of it.

My horse will walk slowly, although is trot is nice. while riding in company I have to continue to nudge him with my legs to keep him walking brisk. If I dont he reverts to his slow walk. However I'm aware that I'm one of those people that dont like to hurt animals and for some reason I think nudging is (after all I wouldnt want someone doing that to me!). I think because of this I tend to not do it hard enough to show I mean business and instead "nag him" with soft nudges. Clinton Anderson talks about owners who nag and dont show they mean it. After "nagging" horses start to ignore it. I was wondering if your horse is the same.

As for him doing everything the other riders ask ..this is because he is unsure of them and whether he will get told off properly. They are therefore on their best behaviour.

Theres nothing wrong with carrying a whip. Its how you use it that matters.

Karen Scholl (Parelli trainer for women) is really big into teaching women to be leaders for their horses. She says over and over that "being nice" is not what makes the horse "like" us - being a leader is what the horse really wants.

Ray Hunt coined the phrase "Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard." Make the horse WORK if he is not doing the right thing. The option then becomes his.

It's OK to smack his butt if he needs it. Horses do it to each other ALL THE TIME. Watch them. The alpha will move everyone away from her by pinning her ears, snaking her neck or giving just a swing of her head. Horses understands body language. But she will also bite and kick to reinforce the rules. Horses understand physical discipline. FAIR is the key word! CONSISTENCY is the other key word! The rules have to be fair, clear and enforced 100% of the time.

A crop can be very effective as an enforcer of the rules. But we tend to attach emotions to discipline. Horses don't - they just do it and it is over. Discipline is a natural consequence of bad behavior in the herd. They don't resent the alpha for it, they LOVE her. Just look how frantic they get when the alpha leaves!

We need to learn that fair discipline is what horses expect from each other and we should also "be there" for them in the same way. We shouldn't attach emotions of anger, frustration or fear with it. When a horse knows the rules, he feels so much more secure and is a safer ride, because he knows his leader is strong enough to keep him safe.
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Well said DixieMom!

AMEN!

That is how I look at things too. Especially on the ground, I had a nasty little two yrs, that loves to be in your face. Well! Did I ever changed in The Alpha mare stage! I just give him the dirty look, not moving, well he got a swift kik from me on his chest, then I went on my business a usuall like nothing appen, not a word out of my mouth. The little guy thinks twice now about coming in MY BUBBLE! (Maybe I should do that too with human that comes in my bubble!hihii)

I think if you can teach your horse some basic commands like lateral and veritcal flexions, backing, and circling on the ground, you can use those same exercises when you mount. You just have to ask for the same things with the same expectation of obedience while you are in the saddle. Be just as firm as you are on the ground. Stop while you are ahead, even if it's only a 15 minute ride. Gradually you will build a base of leadership in the saddle. Set a plan in your mind of what you are going to do - like ride straight to a certain rock, stop, back 3 steps, stand still for 30 seconds, then walk off to another spot and circle it. Focusing on a plan will give you assertiveness and make your horse realize that he's taking his cues from you, his boss.

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