Support Group For Equestrians Overcoming Rider Fear

FLYINGMANE 173 posts Jul 03, 2009 10:29 AM	Sorry for this topic but I need to event. I have to put down my mare this coming Monday. I told my hubby to go away for the day with my son, so he does not see it. I know I am doing the right thing, she will not make our next coming winter, and here the winter can be brutal. She has joints problems too. I still feel that I am making excuses to put her down. The guilt is ever strong too. I do not want to brake down when the time comes, I want to keep my emotions all togerther but I already know it will not be the case. My heart feels so heavy! she was my son's first horse that he was on! she was nothing but a gentle soul for him, I could trust her with him on her back. Other then that she was a pain in the butt for the most part ie: do not like to be brush, body sour, just been an old gruch that she can be, but still she has my love and thanks for letting my son to be what he could be on her. That is huge for me. sorry again... I needed to share. thank you
Meezer 382 posts Jul 03, 2009 11:14 AM	I am so sorry, Chantel! This is never an easy choice, but for those of us who love and choose to share our lives with animals, it's a choice we often have to face. My thoughts will be with you. (((HUGS)))
trina24 21 posts Jul 03, 2009 11:18 AM	Be strong, if you know you are doing the right thing, you are. Remember the lovely poem Meezer wrote in April, "Don't cry for the horses" They'll be back someday. We love them so much so therefore it is the final act of love we can do for them. All my thoughts will be with you xxx
cckiger 163 posts Jul 03, 2009 1:03 PM	Oh how difficult. I'm sure you are doing the right thing. I have an older mare too (28?) and I dread the thought. Our thoughts are with you. YOu might find this blog posting about "Patches", the pony helpful. http://juliegoodnightontheroad.blogspot.com/ Good luck Flyingmane!
PB 842 posts Jul 03, 2009 1:27 PM	I am so sorry for what you are going to have to do. It hasn't been too long ago since I had to make that decision about Chessie. We had her 18 years. She taught me about horses and she carried my daughter safely for years. She gave me the confidence to get back on a horse after my accident. Dont worry about your emotions. Cry for your friend as you send her to Rainbow Bridge. Let her know her family loves her. What a wonderful friend she has been all these years. How she carefully carried your son and kept him safe. Hold her and kiss her velvet nose that last time. Let your son see that it is ok to have emotions and cry for a beloved pet and friend. Even the vet that put Chessie down shed a tear or two, leaned over and kissed her too. She wasn't our regular vet, but the one on call that weekend. Know that my heart is with you this weekend and I will be thinking of you and your family. (((Hugs))) PB
Poeta 484 posts Jul 03, 2009 1:47 PM	I am so sorry. Often I have seen folks selfishly allow horses to continue suffering because they don't have the courage to help a horse die with dignity or they pass the buck by giving the horse to someone else or taking it to auction. Sometimes the right thing feels wrong... The great tragedy "Of Mice and Men". Here's what I suggest. Set the date with enough time for you to digest. A certain number of days from now. Spend time with your mare, sharing with her your appreciation for all she has given, your respect and adoration. Allow her comfort during the final days. Grieve. You may be surprised. Euthanasia is a quality of life decision. When the eyes grow dull and the pain is constant and no relief is in sight... the time has come. I had to put down a lovely old gentleman named Madrid. He was a liver chestnut, who is his day must have been quite glorious. His owner was a coward. She took him to an auction--- his skin taunt over his skeletal frame, huge heavy shoes to correct his ringbone, joints swollen with arthritis. She said, maybe someone can use him as a kids horse--- twenty something years old. I was so angry. I cried for an entire week as I prepared to become this horse's friend so he would not have to die alone. He gave this lady the best of his life and she in turn abandoned him at the end. He was left at the scariest place--- the maze of alleyways that make up an auction, full of sick and maltreated horses. The air thick with the smell of fear and uncertainty. We bought him and a seven year old gelding for a total of $75. $15 was for Madrid. Halo was the other gelding. He looked like a Unicorn as he stood over Madrid at night watching over the old guy. Anytime I came out to feed or check on them, Madrid would struggle to his feet and try to meet me halfway. Always the gentleman. Halo would standback respectfully, always making sure Madrid was fed first. Madrid was in so much pain. I gave him plenty of bute, to make him comfortable during his final days knowing long term effects weren't going to be an issue. The night before we were to euthanize him, we turned him out with Halo to get photographs. Madrid tried to run around like he was young, wringing his neck. In his photos he looks majestic, regal, glorious. The following morning, I cut some of my hair and braided it into his mane. My mentors and friends from the night before brought the trailer. I sat on the ground with my legs crossed, everything taken from me. Madrid walked over to me and put his head in my lap, the feeling I received from him was, "It is okay. I have lived fully. And now I go out with my head up. Chin up. This too is a part of life." He loaded up into the trailer easily, strutted out at the clinic majestically, wringin his neck and held his head high--- ears forward as he went out with dignity. That horse taught me so much about living with dignity..... He never moped, never was pitiful. He was noble til the end. That is the gift you will give your mare. The sadness you will feel is the "missing" of your friendship. Death is but a doorway. It is not the end. Energy is everywhere. Horses have taught us this.
Poeta 485 posts Jul 03, 2009 1:51 PM	Fields of Gold (Eva Cassidy version) reminds me of Madrid to this day: You'll remember me when the west wind blows Among the fields of barley You can tell the sun in his jealous sky When we walked in fields of gold So she took her love for to gaze awhile Among the fields of barley In his arms she fell as her hair came down Among the fields of gold Will you stay with me will you be my love Among the fields of barley And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky When we walked in fields of gold I never made promises like this And there have been some that I've broken But I swear in the days still left We will walk in fields of gold We'll walk in fields of gold I never made promises like tihs And there have been some that I've broken But I swear in the days still left We will walk in fields of gold We'll walk in fields of gold Many years have passed since those summer days Among the fields of barley See the children run as the sun goes down As you lie in fields of gold You'll remember me when the west wind moves Among the fields of barley You can tell the sun in his jealous sky When we walked in fields of gold When we walked in fields of gold When we walked in fields of gold Last Edited on 3-Jul-2009 1:54 PM
Meezer 383 posts Jul 03, 2009 1:59 PM	Trina, I found that poem on a website called "Hoofbeats in Heaven." I believe the author is Brenda Riley-Seymore. : )
FLYINGMANE 174 posts Jul 03, 2009 5:00 PM	I am so gratefull for your support. I am writing this but I barely can see what I am writing, tears are flowing. My heart hurts, and everytime I look at the picture of her and my son (it is still posted on this board, Miguel et Kyna)I can not shake the image of her going down on monday. She will die here at our acreage. Her body will travel but not her. It is like to send her free around here, and be the good spirit that she is for all of us. Crap, I can not even go see her tonight. I feel nothing but saddness and I am afraid to see her reaction to mine. Cause I know she will understand that the time is coming for her to run on a better pasture. I am so sorry but I have to stop writing. I need to calm down now. thank you for all your words and beautifull poems. Chantal
krystle09 104 posts Jul 03, 2009 6:06 PM	Dear Chantal, You will be in our hearts here, I am sorry for your agony. What you are doing is courageous and loving because you do it for her, and not for you. Sometimes animals have to count on us to do what is best but the dread and the sadness,.. I wish you inner peace and our hearts are with you. Poeta, your wisdom and guidance is absolutely inspiring. Marcia
dog-shrink 488 posts Jul 04, 2009 4:56 AM	L'ame de Kyna reste toujours avec toi. Le corps est seulement transitoire. L'amour entre toi et elle est infini. My thoughts are with you Chantal. Bon courage. ---------- Bitless - not witless!
Poeta 488 posts Jul 04, 2009 1:55 PM	Thinking of you and your family and the horses you have blessed. Prayers are with you. GENA (Somewhere in Heaven there are horses who will greet us as representatives of deeds done well.)
RedsMom 984 posts Jul 05, 2009 2:42 PM	Oh, Chantal, I am so sorry honey. :o( I don't even have to look up that picture of Miguel and Kyna because I remember it so well! It's a beautiful picture, and they both look so peaceful and happy! I know how you're feeling right now. Back on April 26, we lost our Great Dane, Caesar. His health had been failing for quite a while, and we knew it was coming, but that didn't make it any easier. My heart goes out to you and your family. Please know that we'll all be there with you tomorrow. ((((HUGS)))) ---------- ~RedsMom Wear your brain bucket!!! :oD
FLYINGMANE 175 posts Jul 05, 2009 4:12 PM	Thank you for your support. I think I will drink a couple beer tonight to put me to sleep easier. Last couple days I did not have any peacefull sleep. It drives me nuts. I looked at her today, running with the boys and giving them heck just because she can. I feel so not sure about this! But I know I can not put it off any longer that she needs too. Young kids came over today to give her some fresh grass, she was so gentle to take it from them...she likes kids. She knows how to behave when they are around. I remember when my son a couple years ago walked underneath her! I thought I would die there at the spot. But she did not move at all. Thank you guys for all the hugs, we will need it.
horseinaround 190 posts Jul 06, 2009 4:25 AM	Chantal, So sorry for your sorrow. We had to put our little paint pony mare, Cheyenne, down this past March. I think of her everyday and know she is looking over our family and our herd. The only suggestion I can offer is to let it all out, cry and feel everything and don't hold back. Let the tears flow. They are healing and when they dry you will know you made the right decision. This poem helped us so much. May it bring a little comfort to you too. One more thing, if you can, save a little of her tail and mane. I did and I can still smell her scent. Some people make momentos from the hair also. (((Hugs))) Sherry FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND You're giving me a special gift, So sorrowfully endowed, And through these last few cherished days, Your courage makes me proud. But really, love is knowing When your best friend is in pain, And understanding earthly acts Will only be in vain. So looking deep into your eyes, Beyond, into your soul, I see in you the magic, that will Once more make me whole. The strength that you possess, Is why I look to you today, To do this thing that must be done, For it's the only way. That strength is why I've followed you, And chose you as my friend, And why I've loved you all these years... My partner 'til the end. Please, understand just what this gift, You're giving, means to me, It gives me back the strength I've lost, And all my dignity. You take a stand on my behalf, For that is what friends do. And know that what you do is right, For I believe it too. So one last time, I breathe your scent, And through your hand I feel, The courage that's within you, To now grant me this appeal. Cut the ties that holds me here, Dear friend, and let me run, Once more a strong and steady horse, My pain and struggle done. And don't despair my passing, For I won't be far away, Forever here, within your heart, And memory I'll stay. I'll be there watching over you, Your ever faithful friend, And in your memories I'll run, ...a young horse once again. Last Edited on 6-Jul-2009 4:46 AM
SnickersMom 271 posts Jul 06, 2009 9:14 AM	Chantal, my heart goes out to you. I too have made the decision that my old horse Dallas will not be going through another winter. My heart aches though I know it is for me....Dallas will be in a better place. Snickersmom
FLYINGMANE 176 posts Jul 06, 2009 9:16 AM	Kyna is no longer with us. When I pick her up from the field, to get ready for the vet, I had her separated from the others. Diego kept calling her, his was her soul mate. I just could not stop crying, and I saw that he had a tear in his right eye. I knew I was not alone then. What makes it so hard now, I am in the house and I keep earing Diego calling for her. Breaks my heart. My vet was nothing but wonderfull for me and Kyna, she let me cry with her in peace, and she stayed with me for a good while, trying to change subject, or talking about the old girl and her ways. I appreciate and plase know that you have all a big place in my heart, because the words and poems that you have shared with me are just from your hearts. Their is some peace after all, and the sun will rise again for our little herd. Merci
cckiger 167 posts Jul 06, 2009 9:50 AM	I'm thinking of you today and sending some light your direction. You have done the noble and right thing. Not all are so courageous.
RedsMom 985 posts Jul 06, 2009 12:38 PM	Chantal, I've been thinking about you all day. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Just know that you did the right thing for your Kyna girl, and she's in a much better place now. ((((HUGS)))) ---------- ~RedsMom Wear your brain bucket!!! :oD
PB 843 posts Jul 06, 2009 2:39 PM	Chantal, Know that I thought of you, your family, and Kyna today. Kyna is no longer hurting or feeling bad. She is running and kicking up her heels. I think she and my Chessie are talking about us too! Grieve for your friend. They do have a very special place in out heart and life. It will take time, but someday you will think of Kyna and know you did the right thing. She will always have a spot in your heart. Her memories will keep her alive in your family. (((Hugs))) and a few tears of my own for Kyna. PB
FLYINGMANE 177 posts Jul 06, 2009 3:49 PM	From the bottom of my heart thank you so much. Yes she is running and I can see her flying mane in the blue sky and all those so very green lush grass...
dog-shrink 491 posts Jul 07, 2009 2:15 AM	I too thought about you yesterday. That poem really made me cry. Kyna is free and running wild on perfect legs, with a perfect body and a happy heart. She will never leave you. Bisousxxx ---------- Bitless - not witless!
horseinaround 193 posts Jul 07, 2009 7:45 AM	Chantal, I was thinking of you and remembered this flash video. We will all be with our departed pets again on the Rainbow Bridge. Hope you're spending lots of time with your herd now comforting one another. http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html